Well, I knew this day would come: the day I felt extremely guilty for taking so long to write, and then writing for so long it will take you a day to read it. I'll try to do better in the future. For now, here's the news on the kids ...
****Jack****
Jack started at Oklahoma Christian University in January of 2020, and managed to get in almost a full semester before the world shut down for COVID-19. It was not an auspicious beginning.
He diligently plugged away at the math and science courses required for a chemistry degree, but spent evenings debating current events and the state of the world with a friend -- perhaps the only other student there as politically conservative as Jack. He joined a couple of Dungeons & Dragons campaigns and considered joining the military, or at least rushing a club. His favorite class was Intro to American Politics. Then there was that career aptitude test he took that came back with a fairly specific recommendation: preacher or lawyer. After all, he loved to argue. I mean, persuade.
In his second semester, the friend transferred to a college closer to family, leaving Jack adrift. But as luck would have it (and also because his parents were fervently praying all that tuition money wasn't going to result in just a degree), he happened to land in a math class with a shy new student from Elgin, Okla. She sat in the front, with the smart kids. He sat in the back, with the loudmouths.
"What's her name?" inquiring minds (mainly his Aunt Amanda and parents) wanted to know.
"Sarah," he said.
"Sarah what?"
"Uhhh. Sarah Moore." Well, that was no help. It might as well be Sarah Smith.
"What does she look like?"
Jack pulled her student photo up on the OC website.
Amanda and I looked at it.
"What nationality is she?"
"Uhhh. I don't know."
We glared at him. "She's something. How can you not know?!"
He called back some days later. "Her mom is Filipino," he said.
He'd found possibly the only other Filipino student at OC. It was a sign.
Maybe if Sarah had been a little more superstitious, she'd have run. But she wasn't superstitious. She wasn't even suspicious.
So let me tell you about her. Sarah graduated valedictorian from high school while simultaneously completing her freshman and sophomore years of college online during COVID. She attended Oklahoma Christian on music scholarship (for bassoon), and seemed to breeze through all the math and science courses required for her degree in mathematics and a minor in chemistry. She graduated in two years while tutoring Jack through his upper-level math classes.
Jack began driving her to and from home (she lived off campus). He charmed her family by mowing their lawn -- causing Jim to scratch his head and wonder aloud what it would take to get him to voluntarily mow our lawn -- and helping her dad repair his rental homes. He ate anything Sarah's mom, Lani, cooked, including all the Filipino foods I never made for him. He became a one-man cheering section for Sarah, showing up at her formal concerts (in all their somber dignity) waving a giant foam number one finger with Sarah's name scrawled across it.
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| Jack and friends after a Debate Chapel |
Inspired by her focus and drive, Jack finally admitted his heart wasn't in chemistry, and changed his major to political science. He took an interest in good grades. He joined mock trial, a competition in which participants simulate a real trial; he applied for internships; and he started studying for the LSAT's. Then, last spring, with Sarah's family's blessing and his own family's collective sigh of relief, Jack and Sarah got engaged.
This past summer was a testament to Jack's perseverance. The summer internship he thought he'd secured fell through. He couldn't seem to break the score ceiling he set for himself on the LSAT. His participation in a Christian leadership seminar that cut well into early summer made it impossible to find a job afterwards.
One unexpected bright spot was his participation as a crew member of Oklahoma Christian's senior engineering team at the Baja SAE competition in Oshkosh, Wisc. He was needed for his welding experience, which none of the engineering students had. For one long, rainy weekend, Jack slogged through mud, making repairs and structural adjustments to the dune buggy during its trial run. The OC team didn't place, but the knowledge he'd made a real difference in the team's performance was the confidence boost he needed to keep him going.
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| At the Baja SAE competition, Oshkosh, Wisc. |
Jack started his senior year in August, and scored well on the LSAT. The internship that fell through in the summer was offered to him as school began. He's vice-president of mock trial, regularly debates at Debate Chapel on campus, and is beginning the process of applying to law school.
After graduation, Sarah landed a job at Hobby Lobby corporate headquarters in Oklahoma City, programming computer software. She and her mom are planning the wedding for next year. Recalling my own wedding (see "A Honey Bucket Wedding" on the Pages entries of this blog), I'm happy to sit this one out.
****Woody****
With Jack off to college, it was up to Woody to represent the Manry boys at home, and by that I mean he had to increase his shower time to make sure the water bill didn't drop. He had to forget until the last moment every Wednesday that it was trash day; ensure all the drinking cups were in a state of half-full of water or else days-old chocolate milk downstairs; and methodically empty the refrigerator of ready-to-eat food.
We were determined to keep our vacation plans for the fall of 2020, in spite of COVID, and Woody accompanied us to Gatlinburg, Tenn., where we rented a darling little A-frame cabin perched at the top of a treacherous hill whose driveway dumped right out onto a hairpin turn in the road that locals and visitors alike took at 30 miles an hour. Also, the cabin wasn't level or square, so no matter which way your bed faced, you woke up several feet from where you started. You might find you were squashed up against your husband (in my case) or sister (in Lucy's case), who were hanging onto the edge of the bed for dear life. Woody, whose sleeping habits have always confounded the rest of us (whether he's on hardwood floor with yoga mats and exercise balls on top of him, or else underneath the couch cushions, but still on the couch), was not bothered by this at all since he slept alone, although the one night he slept with his head downslope, he grumbled about not being able to breathe.
So long as we were outdoors, we didn't mask up, so we did a lot of hiking in the surrounding trails. These were heavily trafficked, but those hikers tended to be the athletic sort who looked like they could run miles uphill on just a snack pack of peanuts and a bottle of water. So you can imagine the expressions on their faces when Jim and Woody opened their backpacks and proceeded to pull out entire boxes of Little Debbie snack cakes, Diet Cokes, and Dr. Peppers.
We also fit in a side trip to Seaside, Fla., the picturesque little town in The Truman Show. We're pretty sure I picked up COVID at Disney World the week before, because I was sick at Seaside. It ended up raining buckets while we were there, so Jim and the kids graciously allowed me to laze around in the rental while they hit the donut shop every morning and brought back atrocities such as maple-glazed donuts sprinkled with bacon. In the afternoons and evenings they binge-watched Community (a hilarious series about misfits at a community college starring Joel McHale and Chevy Chase), resulting in all the kids and Jim being able to quote entire monologues for any occasion, almost as effectively as they can quote Futurama.
Woody graduated high school certified in entry level brakes and engine repair, thanks to his time at Wichita State University Technical College. Infinitely more useful as skills go, he could find and (mostly) repair a tire puncture in 10 minutes, thanks to living on dirt roads all his life.
He took one semester of general education classes at Butler Community College, then transferred to Oklahoma Christian in January of 2023, with our blessing and cautious anticipation; he'd have to sink or swim -- in spite of and with ADHD.
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| Study break |
In many ways, Woody is just like Jim.
A couple of months into the semester, he texted a photo from his dorm -- black smoke billowing into an orangey sky. It was a wildfire south of campus, heading their way. And, no, it was not my first thought that he'd set it.
Under fire watch. He texted.
Are they giving you guys any instructions? I responded nervously.
Eat the weakest. He promptly replied.
Wherever he goes, Woody makes friends, and then he makes those friends laugh.
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| Halloween 2021 After I told the girls they were too big to dress up |
I won't sugar coat it, though. College has been challenging for him. Beyond adjusting to class content that is levels above community college standards, navigating the world of online course work has been a struggle. Deadlines creep up on him because he isn't even aware they are there; prioritizing study over the siren call of socializing is a daily test of his resolve. Many times he's informed us of disappointing test scores, in spite of hours spent studying. Not enough studying, or not the right kind. But he tells us each time he wants to stick with it.
Every day is a battle when you're fighting to master yourself. It's just most of us don't realize that's the battle until we get married. Or have kids.
****Betsy****
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| Betsy, 13, and Lucy, 10 Fall 2020 |
Betsy has developed that uncanny teenage ability of being able to hover, just out of sight, but within hearing distance, of every unguarded comment a parent makes. But unlike other teens, she then takes it upon herself to address the offending issue.
For example, I once carelessly remarked I was sick to death of that crummy honey locust tree that had sprouted, uninvited, next to the driveway, where I backed into it every time I left. Since it was still fairly young, it just bent over when I did this, scratching the paint. In time, though, it would probably put a dent in the car unless I did something about it. Imagine my surprise when one afternoon soon after, I walked past the five-foot tall sapling stripped bare of its leaves and branches. Betsy had attempted to cut it down with garden loppers, but finding the trunk a little too thick for the tool, had settled for chopping off its branches instead. And there it stood in all its naked sheepishness. I can't bring myself to cut it down. I laugh every time I see it. That'll teach Mother Nature.
And then there are the chickens. Well aware of the inconvenience to Amanda of having to coax them back into their coop at the end of the day (we made the mistake of trying to combine two rival flocks who despise each other and rumble like 1950's street gangs at the least provocation), Betsy stoically marches out each afternoon -- hours before they voluntarily head for shelter -- and strong-arms the bickering mass of outraged fowl back into the coop.
Betsy is equally determined in her approach to just about everything. She maps out a schedule and sticks to it. She puts in the time and effort, and the skill follows. It's how she taught herself to sew. And crochet. And drive.
She is a decidedly more enthusiastic student than the boys were, and has done very well in math and sciences, but neither has tempted her to want to study anything like them when she considers college. In fact, her affinity for anything artistic has only grown over the years. She handcrafts stationery; writes beautifully in calligraphy; sews her own clothes; spends hours drawing period costumes; and crochets hair accessories, bookmarks, etc.
Finally, she is a girl of few words. When she does talk, she tends to be brutally honest, completely lacking guile and the subtleties of social niceties.
Our minister once complimented her, saying, "You look like you just stepped out of a magazine!" and she, caught by surprise, said, "You look like you just stepped out of a closet."
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| Dissecting with Dad |
Despite (or maybe because of) their age difference and polar-opposite personalities, she and Lucy do well together. I'd say they were the classic odd couple, except they're both unrepentant slobs when it comes to keeping their room clean. One thing is certain: it's going to be hard on Lucy when Betsy leaves. And Jim isn't going to like it much, either.
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| Sweet Sixteen |
****Lucy****
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| Budding makeup artist for Aunt Amanda |
One of her favorite past times is playing Dungeons & Dragons with Jack. As Dungeon Master he created a campaign for Betsy and her, which inevitably boiled down to extravagant shopping expeditions at primitive outposts, and accumulation of mythical creatures which were supposed to be powerful, sentient allies, but really ended up becoming pets.
After that, she likes producing and starring in one-act plays with Rowen. I thought dress up was something girls did when they were younger and, say, didn't actually fill out their mothers' high heels, but Rowen was bitten by the theater bug early, and Lucy is only too ready to share in that ailment. As a result, I'm willing to bet no other mom's dresser has been so thoroughly ransacked and put to good dramatic use as mine has.
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| My shoes never looked so good |
Like Betsy, Lucy is a good student, but her natural ability is in managing everyone's life. She's a personal assistant extraordinaire, and as a bonus, she can feed you, too. Lucy paints with acrylics and dabbles in crocheting. She's also begun creating trinkets with resin -- an artform in itself.
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| 2021 11 years old |
****Jim****
As usual, Jim has a number of ongoing projects. He had the caboose moved closer to Amanda's depot a few years ago and began to restore it. He cleaned out years of garbage and rust, and installed new custom windows he built himself before taking a break for the summer. That's when a belligerent colony of bees moved in and built their hive inside the double exterior walls, and proceeded to buzz menacingly whenever we walked too close to their abode. It required professional removal, and somehow Jim hasn't gotten back to it yet. Probably because of the pond.
The pond is actually the area where we used to have a pool. But the kids weren't using it and Jim had always dreamed of another pond. And I mean that. Even once this one gets finished, he'll be looking for a place to dig another one. So he planned out the details and worked on it during his free time: smashing the concrete with a jack hammer; digging out the sand eight feet down; removing electrical; backfilling the hole with the goal of excavating it properly once it had settled. The problem was, it started raining. And kept raining all spring, so that by the time it was done raining, he'd run out of vacation. So now it's an overgrown pit just deep enough to hold rain water ... and thus thousands of mosquito larvae. But that's OK, because around about then, he got the Yeti.
The Yeti is a 2002 Lincoln Navigator gifted to him by his good friend and colleague, Dr. McKay, who probably thought Jim could use a hobby. With a little elbow grease, a lot of stencils, paint, window stickers, and a custom horn that sounds, when pressed, like a roaring grizzly (or Yeti), Jim transformed the once-dignified vehicle into an expedition-worthy, Yeti-tracking eyesore. The only thing missing is a tranquilized Big Foot tied to the luggage rack.
But his favorite activity this summer was the back-and-forth between himself and the girls after Betsy found a giant Imperial Storm Trooper at a flea market. What do you do with something like that? If you're Jim and his offspring, you name it "Danny" and then you take turns stealthily setting it up in unexpected places around the house, attempting to outdo each other in more and more ridiculous situations. Danny even accompanied us to the Florida beach in June.
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| The girls add lashes and makeup |
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| An unexpected predicament |
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| Don't forget the sunscreen! |
And that's it for now. Amanda and I are fine, and try to live our lives in such a way there's never a reason to include our activities on this blog.
This year, Jim and I celebrated 27 years together. Since a picture's worth a thousand words, I'll leave you with one that sums up our progress.
Love you all!
